


You found a fool lying in a daze

by Ros_ora_sal



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Haunted Houses, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-15
Updated: 2018-04-15
Packaged: 2019-04-23 05:49:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14325945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ros_ora_sal/pseuds/Ros_ora_sal
Summary: Ryan keeps getting leg cramps in haunted houses, and Shane keeps insisting on helping him. Ryan wishes he wouldn't.





	You found a fool lying in a daze

**Author's Note:**

> Had a leg cramp in the middle of the night and realized, hey, this is prime fanfic material! This is pretty long for a trope as ridiculous as this but here it is, so sorry Ryan and Shane :/
> 
> Also English isn't my first language, so if you spot any mistake (and I'm guessing there are a lot) or there's a sentence that's making your eyes bleed, please please please tell me in the comments!
> 
> Hope you'll like it!
> 
> Title is from Evil Woman by Electric Light Orchestra.

It all started that fateful night at the Montgomery house. As usual, after a long day of driving then shooting, of light-hearted banter and terrifying nonsense coming from the spirit box, Ryan and Shane had rolled down their sleeping bags on the dusty and decrepit floor of the house, next to each other, and they had tucked themselves in for the night, expecting it to be eventful. Ryan did, at least, since Shane always made a point to fall asleep as quickly as possible and ignore Ryan’s pleas to join him in his bursts of panic every time he heard the smallest noise.

Shane began snoring as soon as the two men exchanged good nights, as Ryan was shifting over and over in his sleeping bag, expecting the night and the overall creepiness of the house to provide him for reasons to lie awake with his eyes wide open long after reasonable hours.  
However, the snoring of the older man next to him lulling him to sleep and the tiredness he felt down to his bones after a day of work slowly made him fall into a peaceful slumber. 

He woke up a few hours later, startled by a loud noise. Shit. He knew this was coming. Getting a full night of sleep in a haunted house just wasn’t possible. He reached for his phone, where he was sure he had left it a few hours before, but couldn’t find it. He sat up, stirred his legs, and that’s when the cramp hit him.

« Fuck! » he exclaimed as he laid back down, grasping his painful leg against his chest.

Next to him, Shane stirred in his sleep but didn’t wake up.

Hissing in pain, Ryan tried to sit up again and started massaging his calf, which, given the cramped space of the sleeping bag, wasn’t, uh, an easy task.

« Ah, shit. » he muttered.

« Everything okay? » 

He turned his head to look at Shane, who was now facing him, a sleepy and slightly worried look on his face.

« Yeah, no, just… I’m having a cramp and it’s- it’s actually quite painful. »

« Oh, I thought you had heard a weird noise or something. » Shane’s voice was croaky and sleepy.

« Yeah, I mean that too but- » 

Seriously. That fucking sleeping bag. If anything it was increasing the pain to have to sit up in the weird position he was in to get to his leg. 

« Why the fuck is it so hard to reach my leg right now?! » he shouted in frustration.

« Hey, no- wait up. »

Shane stood up from where he was lying and came to crouch next to Ryan.

« Need a hand, buddy? » he said, a small grin on his face. 

That sent blood rushing to Ryan’s face. Shane, massaging his leg? No fucking way. He would rather admit that ghosts don’t exist before letting this happen.

« Nah, it’s okay, it’s already feeling a little bit better, I just need to massage it a little while longer and it’ll be okay. »

Shane sighed and rubbed his eyes.

« Listen man. You already woke me up and you seem to be doing a shitty job at making the pain go away, if the weird position you’re in is any indication of it- »

« I’m not in a weird position! » Ryan huffed, suddenly feeling a lot self-conscious and a little bit insulted.

« So just let me take care of it and we can both go back to sleep as soon as possible. »

« No. » he said, keeping his eyes down on his sleeping bag, where his hands and leg presumably were.

« Seriously man, let me help. That can’t be comfortable. » Shane said in a concerned voice.

That made Ryan look up. 

« Come on. Are you embarrassed or something? You don’t have to be. » The taller man said as he kneeled beside his friend.

Well, shit. _Ghosts aren’t real then_ Ryan thought as he unzipped the bag and let his leg out. 

« Good. Now lay down. » Shane said as he took Ryan’s calf into his hands and put it on his lap.

Doing so, Ryan could already feel the blush blooming on his cheeks. Good thing it was dark. In an abandoned haunted house with no electricity whatsoever. And no streetlight outside the window. « God, night cramps are the worst. » he groaned.

Shane chuckled softly.

The pain started to recede almost immediately as Shane’s hands started kneading on the cramp. _This isn’t bad_ he thought.

He looked up at Shane, who was focused on his task, but gave Ryan a small smile when he caught the younger man looking at him. Ryan immediately felt his face flushing red. He sighed and let his head fall back down on his pillow.

 _Why the fuck does it feel so weird to me when he seems to be completely alright with this?_ he thought. He didn’t allow himself to dwell any longer on his thoughts, as comparing himself to Shane always made him feel uncomfortable. He tried to focus on something else instead. On how the water stain on the ceiling absolutely looked like a terrifying man screaming at him. Or how if you stared in the dark corners of the room long enough you could almost see the shadows moving. Fuck, that house was terrifying. _I feel like I’m in a David Lynch movie._ he thought.

« You okay? »

Shane’s question shook him out of his contemplation. Yeah, that was still happening.

« Yeah, it’s um, it’s actually much better now. Thanks. » he answered, craning his neck to meet Shane’s eyes.

« Good. Does it still hurt? »

It did actually. A whole fucking lot. But he wasn’t going to admit that if it meant he could end this awkward moment right now immediately.

« A bit, but it’s alright. I think I’ll be able to sleep now. »

He started to move his leg back towards him but Shane kept it firmly in place.

« Nah, dude. It still feels pretty tense and the cramp might come back later so. Won’t be much longer. »

Ryan started rubbing his eyes. Damn Shane and his generous nature. Ryan could always count on him to make things oddly gentle and soft and weird.

He yawned and realized he was actually feeling much more tired than he previously thought. He was relaxing more and more into Shane’s touch, and knowing his best friend was right next to him and fully awake made him a lot less afraid of what he knew was hiding in the darkness of the house. He let his eyes flutter shut and tried to empty his mind. 

He heard Shane exhale.

« Are you… Are you falling asleep right now? »

Ryan smiled but didn’t open his eyes. « What? » he asked innocently.

« I can’t believe this. You don’t deserve this. »

Ryan laughed quietly and nudged Shane in the stomach. 

« Ow. » he huffed, but kept his hands on Ryan’s leg. « You feeling better now? » he asked after a few seconds.

Ryan opened his eyes and tried to move his leg. It didn’t hurt anymore.

« It’s perfect, dude. Thank you so much. »

« No problem. »

Shane returned to his sleeping bag and slipped into it while Ryan was zipping his own shut. He settled himself against his pillow but felt he missed a certain warmth he had been feeling minutes ago.

-

Ryan did his best to not feel awkward the following days. He truly did. 

The morning after, they got up, packed everything up in Ryan’s car, picked up TJ at the local motel where they had left him the previous evening and drove back to Los Angeles. The ride was pleasant, light-hearted, the three of them easily joking and bantering like they always did. Nothing felt out of place.

But that night, as Ryan laid into bed recalling the events of the shooting, he suddenly remembered what had happened and, fuck. He couldn’t believe he had let Shane massage his leg. And it had been so easy for Shane to convince him. 

He felt so strange about it. They both hadn’t mentioned it at all day, but on Ryan’s part, it was simply that he had completely forgotten about it. Concerning Shane, he wasn’t so sure. Sure, maybe he had forgotten too, but what if he felt embarrassed or awkward about it? He hadn’t seem particularly weird or flustered at all. At least not more than his usual self. Could it be he just felt alright with what had happened? Ryan spent all night pondering on the question.

However, as soon as he saw Shane at the office the next morning, the answer was obvious. He probably didn’t care much about it and seemed fine as ever. He greeted Ryan with his usual grin and his « What’s up dude? ». 

So he was the one overreacting, then. Uh.

He sat down at his desk and turned his laptop on to review the footage of the previous day but found it impossible to concentrate on it as he knew he would have to watch the moment he felt so weird about. He dreaded it so much that he decided to leave it for later, choosing instead to work on the research for the upcoming True Crime season. 

As Ryan stopped the video of the footage, Shane stood up from the chair next to him and walked over to the other side of the room where Jen and Steven were chatting. Ryan watched him leave before going back to work. 

Shane, Ryan thought, had always been the most tactile of the two, reaching for his friend during the shootings in haunted houses, touching his arm as he made a joke that he thought the smaller man would find funny in group conversations, not being as self-conscious about casual touch as Ryan had always been. It was probably a testament to the way Shane felt much more comfortable in his masculinity than Ryan did. There was a lot of things over which Ryan drove himself crazy that Shane didn’t seem to care for. Like what had happened a few days ago. He groaned internally.

He sighed and looked away from his computer screen. He spotted Shane in the distance, who seemed deep in conversation with Jen and Steven. The group erupted in laughter at something the tall man said, and Steven immediately brought his arms up around Shane’s neck, bringing him down to rub on his head with his knuckles. The other man didn’t seem to mind, letting himself be pulled closer and messed with. Ryan sighed again.

He looked back at this computer screen and realized that he hadn’t gotten anything done since he had arrived more than an hour ago. _What the fuck is wrong with me._ He suddenly felt so worn-out and exasperated for his own inability to focus on anything other than what had happened the other night. He wanted to forget about it, or rather to brush it up as something that friends do and not linger over long after it happened. He got up to go get coffee from the kitchen.

As he was pouring it in his mug, he heard someone approaching behind him.

« You okay, little guy? »

He turned around, recognizing the voice, amused and still reminiscent of the recent laughter, but also so soft and pleasant to Ryan’s ears. He stopped that train of thought right there and tried to plaster his most authentic smile on his face. It all felt wrong.

« Yeah, big guy. What’s up? »

« Oh nothing, » Shane reached over Ryan’s head to get the cupboard open and pulled a mug out of it. Ryan automatically backed away from him, feeling much too close to Shane for his own comfort and also considering the thoughts that had been fogging his mind all morning. 

Shane took the coffee pot from his hands, and they brushed lightly against each other, which, okay, didn’t seem like Shane was doing it on purpose but shit. Ryan liked to be given a heads-up or, you know. Something. 

« You just sighed like… three times while pouring your coffee. » 

It took a minute for him to process it out. He was still looking at Shane’s hands. Shit. He really needed to be less transparent.

« Uhh… yeah, I’ve just- been feeling a bit ouf of it today. » he replied, rubbing the back of his neck and trying to look at anything other than his friend. Which was almost impossible because Shane really was the biggest sasquatch Ryan had ever met. With the biggest head too. Fuck.

« Yeah, no shit. You’ve been staring at your screen doing fuck all since you came in. What’s up with you today? Did the ghosts scare you that much the other night? » He lifted the mug to his lips, still examining his friend behind his glasses with a smug glint in his eyes. Ryan felt scrutinized and he didn’t like it. Not one bit. 

« Shit. Am I not allowed to have bad days? Jesus. » he said, walking away from Shane and shaking his head. He immediately regretted the harshness of his answer, and the way his voice had sounded so annoyed, but he felt so, so, so bitter, and having his friend be so considerate with him when he wanted nothing more than to put as much distance between them as possible was unbearable.

Behind him, he heard the other man laugh softly.

-

But it turned out, as much as Ryan wanted for him and Shane to physically be as far away as possible while also not compromising their work, providence wasn’t having any of it. At least that’s what he thought as they were both lying in their sleeping bags on the grimy floor of yet another creepy location when he felt a familiar pain shot up in his leg. Shit. And Shane wasn’t even asleep yet. 

« Fuck. » he whispered as he immediately curled up on himself and started rubbing on his leg. He heard Shane rustle next to him.

« What’s happening over here? » he asked, looking over his shoulder.

 _Shit. I’m not going to let it happen this time._ he thought and tried to form a coherent lie in his head to tell Shane but honestly. This was too much. This cramp was so painful it was making him see stars.

« Shit, Ry, are you okay? » Shane was now facing him and looked ready to jump out of his sleeping bag.

« Yeah, yeah, dude, don’t- » He couldn’t finish his sentence as he hissed in pain, curling in on himself even more. 

Shane immediately stood up and went to kneel next to his friend, a much quicker and hurried reenacting of what had happened only a few days ago.

« You don’t look okay. Is it another cramp? »

Ryan could feel sweat beads forming on his forehead and he closed his eyes to brace himself against the pain. Fuck, this one was bad. « It’s already going away so don’t- don’t worry about it. » he said through gritted teeth.

He heard Shane laugh quietly next to him and honestly? Was he really that funny to look at right now? 

« Dude… You’re literally starting to sweat, I don’t think that’s a good sign. »

He didn’t even notice Shane unzipping his bag nor the brisk air of the room touching his skin before he realized his friend’s hands were already on his leg, gently removing his fingers clasped around it. He laid back down immediately, breathing loudly.

Shane started kneading his muscles, like he had done the previous time, but it actually took much more time for Ryan to relax. After a few minutes, he felt the pain decrease and he could finally form articulate thoughts in his head. He exhaled loudly.

« Shit, this one was bad. » He said, trying to make it sound as light-hearted as he could, but in truth his hands were still shaking.

« Yeah? » He could hear the smile in the older man’s voice. 

« Yeah. Worse than the first one. »

He heard Shane hum. « Good, » he said.

Ryan frowned and looked up at the other man. « Good?! »  
« Yeah, » Shane chuckled, « for a minute there I actually thought you were doing it on purpose. Cause, you know, last time you looked like you were really into it. I mean, you almost fell asleep, like an asshole. »

Ryan leaned on his elbows and looked at Shane.

« Why- Why the fuck would I- What the fuck is wrong with you? » And, fuck, he didn’t mean to sound so flustered but what the fuck?

Shane looked at him, smirking. « You know Ryan, you could have just said you liked my massages, like a normal person. »

Ryan could feel annoyance build up in his chest. He knew Shane was trying to get a rise out of him, like he always did, but did he have to do it now? True, he had been enjoying it, both times actually, but only because he had been in so much pain it had been impossible for him to take care of the problem alone.

« God I fucking hate you. » He shook his head. « You know you would be the worst masseur right? »

« What? That’s nonsense. You’re just stupid and can’t tell the difference. I would actually be the best masseur. My massages are the best. Ask anyone. »

Ryan didn’t even pick up on that, implying that Shane was giving massages to anyone left and right. So many jokes to make about that but now wasn’t the time. « Nah, you wouldn’t. You know you’re supposed to make the other person feel relaxed right? Not annoyed at you for talking nonsense. »

At that, Shane rolled his eyes. « Do I have to remind you that I have your presumably very painful leg in my hands? Cause if I were you, I would shut up. »

« Good. Cause you should shut up. »

Shane stopped to look Ryan dead in the eyes. « You just agreed with me. »

« No I didn’t. I told you to stop talking. »

Shane scoffed but didn’t answer and went back to work. Ryan laid back now, sighing and feeling content for managing to shut Shane up. 

However the feeling quickly disappeared, and he was left with guilt over having just insulted his best friend, who had got out of bed late at night to take care of his really, really painful cramp. The awkwardness made an unexpected return too. The banter between them that always seemed to soothe Ryan when they were in a haunted location or discussing the details of a gruesome case had helped him ease into the idea of Shane helping him again, but now that they were both silent, well. Ryan was now recalling why he had tried to avoid Shane touching him in the first place.

He closed his eyes, and tried to think of something else, since that had seemed to work in the Montgomery house. He tried to imagine someone else massaging him, like Helen, despite the fact that she had left months ago, or his mom, who gave the best massages when he was a boy. It could almost work he thought, when Shane’s voice ruined it all.

« Fuck no. You are not falling asleep on me again. » he said, pulling on Ryan’s leg.

Ryan tried to find a snarky thing to answer but honestly he was completely dumbfounded by the way Shane had mentioned Ryan falling asleep on him so casually. There he was again with his not-caring-about-bruising-my-masculinity attitude. Ryan hating him so much for it.

« I’m not falling asleep. » He opened his eyes.

Shane scoffed. « I’m being such a good friend right now. Helping you fall asleep because you had a cramp. You better tell everyone what I did. That night and the other. »

 _You were already being a good friend before_ Ryan thought, but he chose to answer « I’ll do no such thing, because I wasn’t falling asleep. »

Shane rolled his eyes. « Does it even hurt anymore? Cause at this point I feel like you’re just using me. »

Ryan stilled, realizing that no, in fact, his leg didn’t hurt anymore, and the cramp had gone away a few minutes ago already. He hid his face under his hands, pretending to rub his eyes. What the fuck was wrong with him.

« Yeah, you can stop man. I think it’s gone, now. » He said, sounding so fucking weak to his own ears. 

« Good. Who’s gonna massage me now, uh? » Shane said as he slid in his sleeping bag without another word. His breathing evened out seconds later. 

Ryan lied awake, staring at the ceiling. He got next to no sleep that night, too caught up in the internal turmoil he was feeling to even close his eyes. He didn’t even think of ghosts.

-

The next morning, Ryan greeted Shane with huge black bags under bloodshot eyes. Shane however, looked well-rested and had a particularly mischievous light in his eyes as they got up and began to pack the cameras away.

« Did the ghosts give you a rough time last night? » he said with the biggest grin on his face.

Ryan rolled his eyes. _You did actually,_ he thought.

« Shut up, dude. I wanna leave this place as soon as possible. » Ryan mumbled.

He was grumpy the whole car ride back. Shane and TJ were being their usual selves, talking and joking around, arguing about what were the best parts of last night’s footage. Ryan felt so fucking worn-out and irritable he didn’t even try to join them in their banter, focusing on the road instead.

It was barely past seven p.m. when he arrived at his apartment after dropping TJ and Shane at their own places but he went to bed straight away, not even bothering to brush his teeth or take his clothes off. He had a moment to think about how he would finally sleep alone and unbothered that night before he dozed off.

The next day at the office, he knew something was definitely wrong with him. 

He had woken up completely disoriented, still in his clothes from the day before, had had to fish his brushing teeth all the way down the bottom of his travel bag full of dirty clothes, and realized that he was so late he had no time to shave or even take a shower.

Shane was already there when he arrived, and Ryan suddenly realized he looked so disheveled and downright filthy that for a second he wondered if he shouldn’t just have taken a sick day. Avoid Shane forever. Right now he couldn’t stand the thought of his friend seeing him like this, and he wanted to find a hole in the floor, crawl in it and never come back up. Which was ridiculous because he was pretty sure Shane had seen him in worst conditions, like that time at Quinta’s birthday when he had taken his shirt off to impress one of her friends, who had later left with someone else while he had ended the night puking in the bathroom. Shane had found him the next morning passed out on the floor. Shit, he was trying to lift his mood here but this was truly accomplishing the opposite.

He sat down next to Shane with a sigh.

« Hey man. Did the ghosts follow you home? You look even worse than yesterday. » Shane’s voice sounded so fucking cheerful Ryan wanted to smack him right here and now.

He stared at the taller man with a stern look on his face. 

« No? Shit, the demons then. » Shane said, turning back to his screen.

« I swear I’m two seconds away from murdering you. »

Shane turned his head to look at him and he had such an incredibly soft look on his face that Ryan felt his mouth go completely dry.

« Wouldn’t have it any other way. » Shane answered with a wink before going back to work.

Ryan felt himself completely unable to deal with the situation and fled to the kitchen to get coffee and interact with people that didn’t make him question his sanity as much as Shane did. 

-

A few days later, Ryan still hadn’t gotten over whatever it was that was making it impossible for him to have a normal interaction with Shane without feeling completely flustered. Shane kept giving him weird looks in the middle of conversations, but that happened all the time before right? After all, he said dumb shit all the time, he probably just hadn’t noticed Shane giving him these looks before. 

Also, that didn’t explain why he was feeling so self-conscious every time his friend was around, trying to readjust his hair, his posture, thinking _What will Shane think of me if of me if my shirt looks so rumpled?_ at least ten times a day, which was so fucking exhausting. He had never cared what his friend thought of his appearance before, why should he start now?

-

For all these reasons, Ryan was really dreading a lot, like an awful fucking lot, shooting at the next location. He was not stoked about having to spend a whole day driving next to Shane, shooting with Shane, and then inevitably, falling asleep next to him in the grimy living room of a horrendous house. 

When the day came, he really wanted nothing more than to stay in bed with a bowl of popcorn and forget about the world. But he still got up, put on clothes, put his stuff in the trunk of his car and went to pick up Shane and TJ.

He was silent for most of the car drive. Shane and TJ were joking around like they always did and they tried to include Ryan in their conversation but the few answers he gave them were so dry and cheerless that they gave up after a while. Ryan could see Shane sneaking quick glances at him from time to time with, he guessed, a concerned expression on his face. Shit, couldn’t he just tell Ryan was in a bad mood? Sure, it seemed it happened to him more frequently lately, but still. Once again, he felt annoyed at Shane for being so considerate. Which was in turn making him feel shitty for being so irritated at his friend. Driving was a nice distraction.

When they arrived at the house, the owner, a lovely woman in her mid-sixties, greeted them and showed them around inside the house. It was still furnished but also pretty dusty, and Ryan could swear he had seen a mouse run away from them when they had entered the hallway. Fucking peachy, he thought.

The owner left and they started setting the cameras to begin shooting. In a corner of the living room, where they would later roll out their sleeping bags and settle in for the night, Ryan was inspecting the surroundings and looking around when he caught Shane watching him, with an openly worried look on his face. Ryan frowned at him, like his friend’s concerns were unjustified, like Shane was the one acting weird and everything was perfectly fine. Nothing felt fine, Ryan thought, or rather, him and Shane didn’t feel fine.

As Shane saw the other man’s reaction, he immediately looked away and went back to helping TJ with the cameras.

 _I cannot be like this while we shoot,_ thought Ryan, and he tried to cheer himself up, go back to his old self, the one before this whirl of feelings started making it impossible for him to joke around with Shane, to be his friend. Because that’s what it was he thought, suddenly feeling very cold. Their friendship was deteriorating. They didn’t laugh together as much, didn’t talk with each other as much, and had even started spending less time together. Ryan felt something drop in his stomach. He wanted nothing more than to be Shane’s friend. But something weird and fucking maddening in his head kept him from reaching out to him.

He looked back at his taller friend, who apparently had stop paying attention to him. He felt truly fucked.

They began shooting, and Ryan couldn’t help but feeling gloomy the whole time. When they finally decided they had enough footage for the episode and TJ started turning off the cameras, he felt downright miserable and wanted nothing else than to curl in on himself in his sleeping bag and forget about everything. The ghosts, the house, the show, and Shane.

As he was taking off his body camera, he thought that this episode was probably going to be the worst they had ever done. His interactions with Shane had all felt forced and unnatural, they didn’t laugh or talk as much as before and at one point TJ had looked at them both with an incredulous expression on his face. When they had finished putting the equipment away, the cameraman looked between his two friends.

« Are you guys going to be alright, tonight? » he asked.

Instinctively, Ryan looked up at Shane, who was already looking at him. Ryan quickly averted his gaze. _Shit. One of us should say something._

« Yeah, man. We’re going to spend in a nice night in this nice little house, and tomorrow we’ll wake up well-rested and very much alive, cause ghosts aren’t real. » He said, grinning.

TJ started laughing, and Ryan realized Shane was looking at him, a little smile on his face, expecting him to retort something. Ryan fell short.

« Shut up, man. » he said, turning to where their sleeping bags were.

« Alright guys, then I’ll be on my way. » TJ said, picking up the gear bags. « See you tomorrow! Don’t die. » He winked at Ryan, waved them off and got out of the house. Shane closed the door behind him and stayed frozen in place next to it, looking at Ryan with an expectant look on his face.

« So, » He said, looking down at this shoes with his hands firmly tucked in the pockets of his jeans, « Sleep? »

« Yeah, » Ryan gulped. He couldn’t wait for this to be over with. « I’m so fucking tired man. » He tried to laugh but it all that came of his mouth was a weird-sounding wheeze.

Shane smiled at him. « Yeah, I’ve noticed. Come on. »

They rolled down their bags, took off their shoes and both tucked themselves in.

After a few minutes, Ryan realized that something felt odd. Like really, really odd. They were used to talking before going to sleep, Ryan listening to every abnormal noise coming from the house and jumping at them, while Shane light-heartedly made fun of him and reassured him. That night, they were both lying stiffly on their back, looking at the ceiling, and trying very much to remember what they usually said to each other during those times.

« Uhhh… Good night, I guess. » Shane finally said.

Ryan almost jumped at his voice.

« Uh- yeah, man. Good night. »

None of them moved. It was really getting ridiculous. 

Ryan tried to close his eyes but he felt too agitated to even contemplate trying to sleep. He exhaled loudly. Next to him, he heard Shane move.

« Listen Ryan, » Shane said.

Ryan opened his eyes. Shane had turned over and was looking at him.

« I know you’re tired and you want to sleep and it’s probably a really bad time but like- I feel like- We really need to talk. »

« About what? »

Ryan hated himself for ignoring this, but he felt way too compromised already to admit he knew something was wrong.

Shane took a deep breath. « Are you- are you mad at me? »

And, shit, that really felt like a punch in the guts. It was one thing for Ryan to not be able to look at his best friend directly in the eyes when talking to him and feeling shitty for it, and another for Shane to actually think he was actually the one to blame for any this.

« Cause like, I feel like you’ve been avoiding me lately, and you seem so annoyed and irritated whenever we’re together, and I just- I really wish you would tell me if you’re angry at me. »

Okay, that was too much. Ryan rubbed his eyes.

« Shit, man. I promise you I’m not. »

« Really? Then what’s been going on man? Did I do something? Cause… I’ve been trying to think of anything I could have done that could have made you mad, and I know it’s shitty of me but- I’m really coming up short. So please. »

Ryan looked at this friend. The pleading expression on his face was so fucking upsetting.

« Tell me, Ryan. What’s wrong? »

His voice was so soft and tender Ryan couldn’t take any more of it. He needed to shut Shane up, right now. That oddly gentle voice of his was making something stir in his stomach. He straightened himself up on his elbow, facing his friend.

« Shane, I- I promise you I’m not mad at you. I’m really not. » 

Shane was still staring at him with his big, round, stupid eyes so Ryan decided to look at the zipper of his sleeping bag instead. At least it wasn’t making him feel anything. Just a normal zipper.

« I’m so sorry, I really didn’t mean to make you feel like I was angry at you or anything. Like, I realize I haven’t been the coolest friend lately, I’ve been feeling so annoyed and grumpy and everything, but it’s really not because of you. At all. » _It could never be because of you,_ he thought. He wished he could make his brain shut up sometimes.

« I’ve just been feeling so out of it lately. I don’t know what’s wrong with me but I feel so drained and exhausted all the time, and… I guess that’s putting me on edge, or something. At least more than usual. »

He fell silent. He knew this wasn’t even half of it but there was no way he could speak to Shane about what he was feeling when he himself had trouble putting words on it. 

« I know what it is. » Shane said.

Ryan looked up at him, eyes wide. His friend was grinning.

« Mercury’s in retrograde. »

Ryan fell back against his pillow, laughing.

« Fuck, dude. You know astrology’s a scam. That shit is fake! »

« Just like ghosts. » Shane winked at him.

Ryan was feeling way too fucking giddy to even clap back. Just like that, Shane had managed to bring them both back to the way they were before and honestly, Ryan felt so grateful to him for that. He had never admitted it to himself but he really cherished these moments with his friend.  
Their laughter slowly died down and they found themselves smiling at each other. Shane was the first to look down, fixing his eyes on his fingers clasped around each other against his stomach.

« Actually um- there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell- »

He couldn’t finish his sentence, as he was interrupted by loud banging on the front door of the house. They immediately both sat up, eyes wide. Ryan felt panic rise in his chest and he felt his heart rate shoot up so quickly he didn’t even see Shane getting up.

« What the fuck? » the tall man whispered, and he silently walked to the window closest to the front door of the house, pushing aside the curtain. Ryan found his voice again.

« Holy shit, dude, what the fuck are you doing?! »

Shane kept silent for a moment, looking through the window.

« Shane. » Ryan whispered.

« That’s weird. I see nothing. » 

Ryan got up and brought his sleeping bag up to his nose, instinctively hiding behind it.

Shane pulled the curtain back and walked back to his, sitting back down on it.

« I don’t know what it was but, uh- guess it’s gone. » He shrugged. 

Ryan wasn’t having any of it. « Are you- fuck, are you kidding me?! Did you hear the same fucking thing I did cause I-» 

The banging noise happened again, this time much louder and much longer. And also accompanied by a voice.

« I know you fuckers are in here! Get out of here! »

Shane and Ryan exchanged one quick glance. « Shit. » They both said in unison, and they hurriedly began packing away their bags, as the person outside started banging on the door again. Ryan could feel his whole body shaking.

« What the fuck is happening?! » Shane whispered, fumbling with a camera.

« I don’t know but I swear to God I’m going to piss my pants if that guy doesn’t-» 

« Did you fucking hear me? Get the fuck out before I stop playing nice! » shouted the voice.

« That’s his idea of playing nice? » Shane’s hushed offended tone would have been pretty funny right now if Ryan hadn’t been too busy being terrified out of his goddamned mind.

He put his jacket on with trembling hands and he lifted a gear bag to his shoulder. He started walking to the door when another cramp hit him. 

Fuck, God really hated him. 

He fell back down on the floor, hissing loudly.

« Ry, what’s wrong? » Shane was immediately to his side, touching his shoulder. He was definitely much too close for Ryan’s comfort but since there apparently was a crazy man yelling at them to get out right outside the door, he found he couldn’t care less.

« Fuck. It’s another cramp. »

« What- Right now?! »

As if the circumstances couldn’t get any worse, they suddenly heard a gun shot coming from the side of the house.

Ryan looked up at Shane, feeling completely bewildered.

« Was that a fucking- »

He was cut off by another gun shot, sounding from much closer than the previous one. He let out a small whimper.

Shane, still crouched next to Ryan, seemed to think for a few seconds, then turned to look at him. 

« You know what? Fuck it. »

He put his arms under Ryan’s knees and shoulders and lifted him up against his chest, bag still slung over his shoulder. Ryan yelped.

« Shane, what- » 

« Shut up. We’re getting out of here. »

He gave a quick kick to the front door, which opened easily, and he carefully slid his head outside the entrance. 

« Shane. » Ryan whispered, clutching his friend’s shoulders. The way Shane was carrying him, he couldn’t see anything.

« Shh. Coast’s clear. »

He starting running towards the car, parked less than fifty feet away from the house, at the other side of the garden next to the the road. As he ran, Ryan looked back over Shane’s shoulder, and he saw a man looking at them right next to the side of the house, gun in hand, a few feet away. He lifted it above his head, and fired it again, making Shane flinch.

« That’s right! Get the fuck out! Don’t let me see your face around here again! »

Ryan squeezed Shane’s shoulder.

« He’s not… He’s not following us, is he? » Shane said, sounding out of breath and so fucking scared. 

Ryan averted his eyes, not standing to look at their attacker for another second.

« He’s not. » he said quietly.

« Thank fucking God. »

They finally reached the car, and Shane dropped Ryan down in front of the passenger side, threw their bags in the trunk and opened the door to the driver’s seat, sitting down and starting the car immediately. Ryan was already sitting on the passenger’s seat, unable to move from fear.

As they quickly drove away, they didn’t look back, and stayed silent for a a few minutes. They were both completely stunned. At last, Shane seemed to get out of his trance-state.

« Shit, we don’t know which motel TJ went to. » He muttered. 

Ryan felt like his was losing his mind.

« Shane, fuck. What the fuck just happened? » he shouted, throwing his arms in the air.

Shane turned to look at him quickly, before focusing again on the road. He ran a hand in his hair, looking hesitant. Was he- Was he fucking blushing?

« You, um- you didn’t really leave me a choice! You just fell down and there was this crazy guy outside and we needed to leave immediately, so I just uh… Did the first thing that came to mind, I guess. »

Ryan frowned at him, before realizing what Shane was talking about.

« I’m not- God, I’m talking about him! The crazy guy! Shouting at us to get out, gun in hand, and actually firing it! » He exclaimed.

Shane sneaked a quick glance at him, eyes wide open.

« Oh, shit, fuck, yeah- I mean- of course, » he started spluttering, « Yeah, what the fuck was that about? Who was that guy? »

« Shit man, I don’t know, » Ryan said, shaking his head, « But he was fucking terrifying. I almost had a heart attack over there! »

« No shit. First time I’ve ever felt this scared in a haunted house. » 

Ryan wheezed at that, and everything felt so surreal but at least Shane was still making him laugh. He smiled at Shane.

« Won’t be the last. »

Shane rolled his eyes. « If you’re saying this shit is going to happen every time we stay the night at a filming location from now on, I fucking quit, Ryan. You can go sleep in there alone, with the ghosts and the- the fucking psychopaths. No more of this for me. Shane out. »

Ryan erupted in laughter, and he felt tears in his eyes. He turned his head to look at Shane, who was grinning from ear to ear.

Shane cleared his throat. « How’s uh… How’s your leg? »

Oh. In the midst of it all, Ryan had completely forgot about it. He found it still felt a little stiff, but the pain was mostly gone.

« It’s good. Thanks. »

« No problem. » Shane said, his hand finding his hair again.

Ryan looked at him, and realized he felt safe. Here, in the car with him, after Shane had carried him in his arms out of the house, as a man was threatening them with a gun. He felt there probably wasn’t anyone beside Shane who could make him feel so warm and secure only minutes after that just happened. He also realized he had been looking at his friend with a stupidly fond smile on his face for a while now. Like an idiot with a crush.

_Shit._ He stayed frozen for a second. _Shit, shit, shit._

__

Everything suddenly made so much sense that he felt dizzy for a second. He felt like Sherlock Holmes or something. But much stupider.

Ryan had always been the oblivious type but this was really taking the cake. The fluttering in his stomach. The constant need to be his best-looking self around his friend. The idea of Shane touching him making him so anxious. The way his mouth went dry when Shane looked at him in this absurdly endearing way.

He had been pining over Shane this whole fucking time. Shane with his stupid messy hair, and ridiculously long limbs, and bright eyes and infectious laugh. He was crushing on Shane. Ever since he let him put his dumb hands on his leg in the fucking Montgomery house. Or maybe for longer. Probably for longer. Crushing big time. And he had been so bad at handling it he had made Shane feel like he’d done something wrong. He put his face in his hands and groaned.

« You okay? » 

Ryan’s head shot up. He truly couldn’t have chose a worse time to realize this. He looked at Shane. Like, really looked at Shane. _I like this idiotic guy who looks like Bigfoot and thinks ghosts don’t exist,_ he thought. Yeah, clearly he had made the smart choice here.

« Ry? »

Shane’s voice brought him out of his reverie.

« Uh? » Okay, Ryan sounded really dumb right now, but how could he not?

Shane chuckled. « You good? You look like you just realized you left the stove on. »

Ryan immediately felt blood rushing to his face.

« Yeah, no, no, I’m- um- I’m good. » Shit, he truly wasn’t getting any better at this, uh.

Shane laughed. « Okay, man, whatever you say. Hey, can you text TJ? He didn’t tell us which motel he was going to and I’m kinda starting to drive in circles here. »

« Uh, yeah, sure. I’ll do that. Uhhh, yeah, right on. » 

Shane glanced at him with a small questioning smile on his face but said nothing.

Ryan internally cursed himself.

-

The woman sounded really distressed on the phone.

« I’m really, really, really sorry. I have no idea how he knew you were staying in there and had I known he would come I would never have let you guys spend the night. »

Ryan sighed into the phone. « It’s- really okay. I mean, obviously we didn’t understand what was happening and we were really scared, but. He didn’t harm us so. »

« Still, this doesn’t make it okay. Do you guys want to press charges against him or something? You said he fired his gun at you. » 

Ryan looked at Shane who was sitting next to him, hunched over his desk looking at something on his computer screen. Something fluttered in his stomach. He pinched the bridge of his nose and groaned.

« It really won’t be necessary. Like I said there was no harm done, and considering the circumstances it was kind of inappropriate of us to stay the night there, so I… I don’t think we will. We won’t. »

« Okay. Again, I’m really sorry. Please let me know if there’s anything I can do. »

« Thank you, we will. »

Ryan hung up his phone and set it down on his desk. He started rubbing his temples. 

He heard Shane move next to him.

« So? What did she say? »

Ryan let his hands fall down and shook his head. « Dude. You’re not gonna believe it. »

He turned to look at Shane. « That guy was her ex-husband, and also the co-owner of the house. » 

Seeing Shane’s eyebrows shot up like they did was always a delight to Ryan. Particularly when he was the one instigating it.

« And that’s not all. He actually grew up in the house, and guess what? The people murdered in it in the seventies were his parents and sister. » 

Shane threw his hands in the air and fell back against his chair.

« How the fuck did we not know that?! » he asked, sounding so shocked that Ryan couldn’t help but laugh at his voice.

« Fuck, man, I don’t know. But I mean, his ex-wife could have told us. That’s so fucked up of her to let us film an episode where her parents-in-law were murdered. »

« I mean, sure. » Shane said, turning back to his work. « But that’s what we do. We film places where people have been killed. It’s our job that’s fucked up. »

« Yeah, but like you said, it’s our job. We get paid to do this. So fuck her. »

Shane looked at him and laughed softly at that.

« Oh, Ryan. » he sighed.

Ryan couldn’t help but blush.

-

Of course, everybody in the office wanted to know more about their little adventure. As soon as TJ had told Steven, and Keith, and Eugene, and everybody else what had happened, Ryan and Shane quickly found themselves surrounded by all of Buzzfeed, it seemed, to answer their questions. Lunch break wasn’t sacred to anyone but Ryan, apparently.

« Okay so, » Jen began. « Tell us exactly what happened. »

Ryan sighed. « Well, it was the middle of the night, and we heard someone banging on the door, and there was this guy who started yelling at us to get out of the house, and then he shot his gun in the air, twice, and we ran out of the house to the car, while he was yelling and shooting his gun some more. »

Everybody gasped.

Of course, the story was even more dramatic, as Ryan had fell to the floor in pain and Shane had carried him to the car, but he didn’t feel really comfortable with disclosing those details, especially considering what they had triggered later that night. He hoped Shane would keep them to himself too, as it was the kind of things he particularly liked to tease Ryan about.

« Who was that guy anyway? » Zach asked.

« Uhhh, he was actually the co-owner of the house, the woman we met was his ex-wife. Also the people murdered in the house forty years ago were his parents. » Shane answered.

A chorus of « ohhh » and « ahhh » and « what the fuck? » erupted all around them.

« Must have been so scary to wake up to this in the middle of the night! » Quinta said. « What were your first thoughts? I guess Ryan thought he had finally proved the existence of ghosts, » she snickered. 

Ryan huffed. « As a matter of fact no, I did not, cause we were both awake when it happened. »

« Really? What were you guys doing? »

Ryan didn’t even register who had spoken because he was too busy asking himself why he felt the need to keep digging his own grave like that. Because if there’s one thing he wasn’t going to do, it’s admit to their colleagues and friends that he and Shane liked to have heart-felt discussions about their feelings before falling asleep next to each other. If he went on down this road he was going to confess his crush on Shane right here and there for everyone to see. He still had work to do on his brain-to-mouth filter.

He glanced at Shane, and it made everything so much more suspicious.

« Uhhh… We were- uh… » the taller man began, and was that a blush creeping up his neck? Was Shane looking to start digging his own grave, much like Ryan? Obviously he did, because he stopped dead in his tracks.

« Shit. What were we doing, Ryan? »

« Uhhh… I dunno. Just… Talking I guess? »

Everybody frowned at that.

« Sure guys, » said Jen, smirking, « Talking, or whatever. »

« We were! » Ryan shouted.

He didn’t think he had ever seen that many people roll their eyes exactly at the same time.

-

Crushing on Shane wasn’t really an easy thing to manage for Ryan. First because of his own transparency, of course, but also because they spent so much time together Shane would always catch his friend staring at him, or blushing, or stuttering on half the words that left his mouth because Shane’s eyes really were that dreamy. There was even that time where he had been talking to Steven and he had spotted Shane behind his friend’s back, sitting at his desk, stretching his arms up and making his shirt ride up just above his belly-button. Steven had looked behind him, realizing Ryan’s attention was clearly focused elsewhere, and when he had turned his head back he had the smuggest look on his face. 

« You should just talk to him, you know. » He had said.

« About what? » Ryan had answered, before correcting himself. « Wait. Who do you think I should talk to? »

« You know, man. » Steven had said, patting Ryan’s shoulder.

Yeah, he knew alright.

Truth is, he wasn’t planning on telling Shane anything. Ever. Not only was he his best friend, but they also spent almost every waking moment together, and Ryan really didn’t want to lose that. He cared about Shane too much to risk losing him for a stupid crush that would probably go away in a few weeks. Or a few months, he started telling himself when weeks had gone by.

And he knew Shane didn’t feel that way about him. Shane was straight. Shane dated girls. Ryan was just a friend to him. Which was better than nothing at all, Ryan thought.

-

At least, Ryan didn’t have to worry anymore about unexpectedly getting yet another night cramp in Shane’s presence since the rest of the locations they had to film at for the new Supernatural season didn’t allow them to stay overnight. He could finally breathe.

But then came the time to edit all that footage, and as usual they were pretty late on their schedule. They realized they would actually have to keep working way past office hours if they wanted to meet their many deadlines. Which is how they found themselves both working in the break room, sprawled out on the sofas with their laptops, close to midnight.

As anyone sane of mind, Ryan hated working overtime, but he felt when he was with Shane, it was much different. Sure it still was a pain in the ass, but at least they were spending time together.

Up until that moment, Ryan was expecting the night to be uneventful, but he was about to be proven otherwise, as he stirred his legs in front of him to release the tension he had been accumulating the past hours, and, no, truly this was getting ridiculous. Another fucking cramp.  
Wheezing in pain, he doubled over, squeezing his leg. This was never getting old.

He felt Shane’s hand lightly brushing against his arm.

« Another cramp, Ry? »

Ryan raised his head to look at Shane, grimacing in pain.

« Yeah, man. Fuck. »

« Here, let me help. » 

He took Ryan’s wrists in his hands and removed them from his leg.

« Just- lie down, ok? As usual. »

Ryan felt ridiculous. This had already happened enough times for Shane to be able to say that. What was his life.

His friend brought his leg to his lap and got to work.

« You should really go see a doctor you know. It’s so weird that you keep getting them lately. »

« Yeah, I know. And weirdly I keep having them when we’re together. » Ok, maybe he shouldn’t have admitted that. Shane’s hands stopped moving for a second.

« Really? Shit, I’ve been saving you from night cramps four times, then. »

« Three. » Ryan rectified, craning his neck to look at his friend. « You didn’t do anything the last time. »

« Didn’t do any- I got you out of the house! » Shane scoffed.

« I believe the sheer panic I felt that night was what made the pain get away. » Ryan said, smirking.

« Maybe your sheer panic should give you massages, then. » Shane answered. Ryan wheezed.

They both fell silent. Ryan realized, it was the first time he was willingly letting Shane touch him since he had become aware of his feelings for his friend. He didn’t know how he was feeling about that. Actually he started feeling really bad about it. His leg was on Shane’s lap. Next to his dick. How could he have let this happen. This was the worst idea in the history of bad ideas. He needed to put an end to this.

« Hey, uh- It’s not painful anymore. You can stop. »

« No way man. You still feel so stiff. »

_Why the fuck are you like this, _he wanted to scream at Shane. He was already feeling the blood rush to his face. And to other parts too.__

____

____

« Seriously, dude. Stop. »

« Why are you- uhhhh… » Shane trailed off.

Ryan lifted himself up on his elbows and. Uh. Shane had his very tented pants just in front of him. Shit. He fell back down against the couch, hiding his face in his hands. He felt so fucking embarrassed.

« I told you to stop, man. »

« I’m so fucking sorry, dude. Is it because of me? »

Ryan exhaled loudly. « No man. It’s the sofa. All squishy and smooth. Can’t resist that. »

Shane had gotten up and was now sitting down on a chair opposite Ryan, looking everywhere but at him.

« Uh- ok. You should probably go… Take care of that, somewhere. Elsewhere. »

Ryan got up. « Shut up, Shane. »

He started walking towards the bathroom when Shane’s voice interrupted him.

« Unless… You want me to do it for you. »

Ryan froze in his spot. Fuck, had he heard right?

He slowly turned around. He caught Shane’s eyes but his friend quickly averted them. He suddenly looked pretty interested in the sleeves of his shirt. 

« What did you just say? » Ryan asked.

« Umm… » Oh shit, that blush on Shane’s neck was returning. « I could do it… for you? If you want. » His voice was so small Ryan could barely hear him.

They spent a few seconds looking at each other, completely still. Ryan thought he was about to have a seizure.

« You uh- you want to? » he finally asked, his voice sounding less assured than he would have liked it to.

Shane immediately started fiddling with his sleeves again.

« Uh… Yeah. Since it’s my fault or… Something. »

Ryan felt his heart go wild in his ribcage. He took a deep breath, not wanting to die of a heart attack before he could say yes to what Shane was offering. His whole body was trembling.

« You sure? »

Shane sighed. « Please don’t make me say it again. »

As he walked to where Shane was sitting, Ryan cleared his throat. He stood up in front of Shane, searching his eyes. 

« Okay. Uh- I accept. »

Shane eyebrows shot up. « You do? »

« Don’t make me say it again… » Ryan pleaded.

-

Even after they had gone to the bathroom to clean up, Ryan still felt too light-headed because of what happened he had to sit down for a minute. They were back in the break room, both seating on the opposite side of the same sofa, trying to look at anything but the other. Even though everything felt fucking weird, Ryan couldn’t help but smile. His mouth was actually hurting from smiling so much. He was glad the room was now in semi-obscurity since they had agreed on turning off the lights to make it less awkward for them both, because he was sure he now looked like the biggest idiot. Grinning in the dark like a madman after his best friend and long time crush had jerked him off. 

He was so fucking happy. He knew it still didn’t mean anything, because Shane could have just offered to help him in the spur of the moment, or out of consideration for him, but right now he was pushing these thoughts deep down to make them as small as possible because, fuck. That had happened. And if that had happened, maybe more would happen. And if more happened, Ryan would be the luckiest man on Earth.

He had been daydreaming for a few minutes about what this could mean for them when Shane cleared his throat and spoke, still looking pointedly in front of him.

« We should go home. It’s getting late. »

Ryan turned his face to look at his friend, his heart beating loudly in his chest. Shane’s first words hadn’t been what Ryan had hoped they would be but hey, at least he was talking. Even though he was still looking at the blank wall in front of him. It was a start.

« Yeah, you’re right. » Ryan said.

After they had turned off their laptops and packed away their stuff in awkward silent, Shane realized he had missed his last bus. Ryan immediately seized the opportunity.

« I can drive you back to your place. It’s no trouble. » He said.

Shane smiled at him.

« Thanks man. I appreciate it. »

And like that, they made their way down to the parking lot. 

As happy as Ryan was feeling right now, it really wasn’t showing. Him and Shane were walking quietly side to side, not too close but not too far either, both looking at their feet. Ryan was wondering how easy it would be to slide his hand into Shane’s right now, but the walk to his car wasn’t long enough for him to become a braver man. 

They both got in the car and Ryan started the engine. The silence was truly becoming unbearable so he put the radio on. Some sappy country music was playing, which truly wasn’t helping.

« Oh, I love this song. » Shane said quietly and he started humming along. Ryan turned the volume up. 

The entire ride to Shane’s place was like torture. Shane’s soft singing voice was making Ryan feel all weird and funny, and his hands were all clammy. He hated driving with clammy hands. He caught Shane looking at him in the middle of the song, unacceptably warm. Ryan thought he could see fondness in Shane’s eyes, or maybe affection. He knew he shouldn’t feel so damn hopeful, but after what had happened he felt maybe he was allowed to. 

When they arrived at Shane’s place, Ryan was dreading that their evening was going to end like this. With them pointedly ignoring what had just happened. He really dreaded the moment Shane would tell him good night and let him drive back home all alone. 

But when Ryan parked his car and turned off the engine, Shane didn’t move. He rubbed at his neck and turned to Ryan.

« Hey uh- I think I got beers up there, and since you drove me home, you could- you know. Come up or something. »

Ryan was so happy he wanted to kiss Shane right then and there. He took a deep breath.

« Yeah, sounds good. » he said, smiling at the taller man. Shane nodded at him.

They got out of the car and made their way to Shane’s apartment. He fumbled a bit with his keys at his front door, and Ryan saw his hands tremble. Knowing he wasn’t the only one feeling so anxious made his chest swell up. He was so fucking glad to be here with Shane.

When Shane finally got his front door open, he immediately went to the kitchen, and Ryan saw him look inside his fridge. He followed him.

« Uhh… » Shane turned around, a hand in his hair. « Turns out I’m out of beer. »

« Oh. » Ryan said. 

Shane starting looking for something in his cupboards. « But um- I got coffee, if you want. »

Ryan shook his head and smiled up at his friend. « Coffee, at this hour? Are you crazy? »

Ryan expected Shane to reply with a joke but, uh. He just looked at Ryan anxiously, biting his bottom lip. Unable to look away, Ryan suddenly remembered he desperately needed a reason to stay.

« But um- tea? You got tea? »

« Hell yeah, I do. »

Shane immediately filled the kettle and turned it on.

« Go sit down in the living room, I won’t be long. » He smiled at Ryan.

As Ryan sat down on Shane’s couch, he inspected his surroundings. He had been to Shane’s place so many times before he had stopped keeping track a long time ago, but this felt so different. It truly felt like a moment out of a dream. 

Shane showed up a moment later, carrying two steaming mugs that he set down on the coffee table before sitting down next to Ryan.

« So. » he said, looking at his hands resting on his knees.

« So? » Ryan repeated expectantly.

He noticed that one of Shane’s knees was bouncing slightly. Shane inhaled.

« I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something for a while now but uh… Somehow it was never the right time. »

He looked up at Ryan, and his expression was so soft and honest Ryan would have felt weak in the knees, had he been standing up.

« I think- no, I’m pretty sure actually, » He chuckled lightly, « That… I got feelings for you. »

His hands were clasped in his hands, his knuckles completely white, and Ryan wanted nothing more than to reach out and squeeze them between his own, or to put his hands behind Shane’s neck and bring his head against his collarbone, reassure him and make him understand that there was no need to feel anxious. That Ryan had wanted this for so fucking long he couldn’t believe his luck and felt he could die of happiness any second.

« I just wanted you to know. » 

Ryan smiled at him. Shane was so endearing right now. Fuck, he had waited for this moment for so long. His whole body was shuddering with anticipation.

« Listen man, I-I actually have been crushing on you too. For the longest time. » It felt so good to finally admit it. And to know Shane felt the same way. This crush had felt like a burden since the beginning but right now Ryan felt light like air.

Shane exhaled as if he had just been underwater. He laughed quietly. « Really? »

« Yeah, I mean… » Ryan averted his gaze. « I only realized it after we stayed at the Montgomery house but um… It might actually have been going on for longer than that. » 

He looked up at that, and Shane had his eyes on him, a soft smile on his lips.

« I thought you might have been. » he said.

Ryan frowned. « What? »

Shane reached for his mug on the table, chuckling. « Yeah, the day after the shooting you kept blushing and stuttering when you were talking to me, and you also wouldn’t look directly at me for like a day or two. » He fumbled a bit with his mug and put it back on the table without taking a sip.

« Shit. I really thought I wasn’t being that obvious. » Ryan shook his head, laughing lightly.

Shane was smirking. « Well you kind of were. » He sighed. « I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to assume or whatever. I was having doubts cause you’re like… the straightest guy ever. »

Ryan didn’t know why he felt so insulted right now, but. He did. « What the- you’re the straightest guy ever! »

Shane stared at him with a grave look on his face.

« Ryan. You seriously need to take a look at yourself. »

« You, fuck. We both aren’t straight anyway so what the fuck are we even doing? »

Shane laughed. His eyes looked so bright Ryan couldn’t take anymore of it. He finally felt brave enough.

« I really wanna kiss you, man, » he said quietly.

Shane grinned back at him. « Then do it. »

Ryan immediately closed the space between them, kissing Shane’s lips gently, as he felt the other man’s hands rest on his shoulder. It felt so mellow and good and gentle Ryan couldn’t resist putting his arms around Shane’s waist to bring him closer. Kissing and touching and feeling Shane all around him felt so fucking good he thought he might die when they would finally break apart. Which they did a minute later, and Ryan found he was fine, because then he could look at Shane’s face, and the way his eyes were shining in the low light of the room.

He went in for another kiss.

-

Ryan woke up in the middle of the night. He felt disoriented for a minute, not recognizing the smell of the sheets nor the setting of the room. There was a warm weight all across his belly. Everything came back to him when he heard a soft breathing next to him, right above his ear, and he recognized the weight as Shane’s arm. 

Ryan turned over to face Shane sleeping. His face was lightly glowing in the pale moonlight filtering in the room from the cracks of the blinds, and the skin between his eyebrows was slightly furrowed from frowning in his sleep. Feeling adoration and giddiness build up in his chest at the sight of his best friend sleeping curled against him, Ryan couldn’t help but smile. He closed the distance between them to press a kiss on Shane’s cheek, before settling against his chest and stretching his legs to get comfortable.

He heard Shane sigh and mumble sleepily.

« Stop moving so much, man. Shit, do you never learn? »

Ryan let out a small chuckle against his friend’s throat.

« Don’t need to, baby, since I’ve got you. » He answered.

« You’re the absolute worst. »

Ryan felt Shane’s fingers lightly grazing against his side, lulling him to sleep. In Shane’s bed, surrounded by his warmth, Ryan felt content.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!


End file.
